When the Jobs Ran Out
Four weeks since we said goodbye, and still I haven’t learnt to cry. The forms are done, the calls have stopped, your house is cleared, the keys are dropped. I’m sat here…
For Ben, My Brother. My Mate
For Ben Born the year of ’83, a twin to your Becky, A winter baby with a laugh so loud and cheeky. We called you Negbutt for the grey clouds you’d see,…
Where Nobody Walks Alone
Some charities start with meetings, with clipboards, plans and tea. This one started where hearts broke, where no heart should ever be. It started with Jamie missing, with questions left behind, with…
For Big JG, My Mum
A foundation can crack from weight it could not bear, But you were Hessle Road rock, with a no bullshit stare. Kestrel in your courage, Three Hammers in your name, Big JG…
Oi! Lads, Listen
Oi. Before you tell me you’re fine, look me in the eye and lie properly. Because I know that nod, mate. I’ve used it. That little “yeah, sound” with a whole car…
When Survival Finally Stopped
A week ago I stood in a room and read your life out loud. My brother. My mate. My own blood in a coffin while I tried not to break in front…
Tired Feet
I see you seeing me, the looks you try to hide, my kids, my family, my mates, all stood there at the side. I know you’re worried, I know I look half…
When The House Goes Quiet
I wait till the house is quiet, that’s when I let myself crack. No shouting, no scene, just me with the mask pulled back. On the sofa staring through nothing, while the…
The Cost of Suicide
I read the reports with my stomach in knots, all cold little words in official slots. Pages and dates, typed neat in black, like that somehow stops Ben from coming back. Then…
8 Months to Heavy
I’ve had eight months that should’ve come with a warning, not a little bad patch or some character forming. The sort of months that sit on your chest, then ask why you’re…